"That's Not Fair": Why Adjustments Aren't Favouritism

"Why does she get headphones and quiet space, and I don't?"

If you manage people, you've heard some version of this. Maybe you've even thought it yourself. One person gets noise-cancelling headphones, a desk away from the printer, or permission to skip the open-plan brainstorm and send written input instead. Someone else watches that happen and quietly decides it's unfair.

It's a reasonable reaction - if you assume everyone starts from the same place. They don't.

The workplace was already built a certain way

Open-plan offices, back-to-back meetings, verbal brainstorming, fluorescent lighting, constant pings — none of that is neutral. It's a set of design choices that happens to suit a particular kind of brain: one that filters background noise easily, processes spoken information in real time, and doesn't get physically overwhelmed by sensory input.

For a neurodivergent employee, those same conditions can be the equivalent of trying to do precision work while someone's shaking the table. The noise-cancelling headphones aren't a perk. They're what brings that person's environment back to roughly the same starting line as everyone else's.

This is the bit that gets missed in the "favouritism" conversation: the adjustment isn't giving someone an advantage. It's removing a disadvantage that was built into the environment before they ever walked in.

There's a line that captures this better than any policy document:

Fair isn't everyone getting the same thing. Fair is everyone getting what they need to be successful.

Sameness feels fair because it's easy to measure. But identical conditions only produce equal outcomes when everyone is starting from the same place - and in most workplaces, they're not.

What this looks like in practice

• Quiet space or quiet hours - a room or block of time without expectation of interruption, for anyone who needs to concentrate without managing sensory load at the same time.

• Written agendas before meetings - gives people processing time instead of expecting them to think and respond live.

• Choice in how input is given - written notes as a genuine alternative to speaking up in a group, not a workaround.

• Predictable structure - clear meeting purposes, agendas that don't shift last-minute, decisions confirmed in writing.

None of these are special treatment. They're the kind of basic clarity that benefits most of the team — they just become essential, not optional, for some.

When someone pushes back

If a staff member raises the "why do they get that and I don't" question, it's worth treating as a genuine opening rather than a problem to shut down. Try:

"That's a fair question. The goal isn't identical conditions for everyone - it's making sure everyone has what they need to do their best work. If there's something getting in the way of yours, let's talk about that too."

This does two things. It validates that they're allowed to ask. And it reframes adjustments as a standard everyone can access, not a special case for one person.

There's also a compliance angle leaders shouldn't ignore. Under updated WHS laws, psychosocial hazards - including poor role clarity, high sensory demand, and unmanaged interpersonal conflict - sit alongside physical hazards as risks employers are required to manage. Safe Work Australia's guidance makes this explicit. A workplace that resists reasonable adjustments isn't just creating friction; it's carrying a risk it hasn't accounted for.

The action

Don't wait for a formal request to start noticing where your environment assumes one type of brain. Sit in your next team meeting and ask: who is this format actually working for? Where is silence read as disengagement, when it might be concentration? Where is "just speak up" actually a barrier?

Equity isn't about lowering the bar. It's about making sure the bar is something everyone can actually reach.

The ND Professional helps leaders build the practical capability to manage neurodiverse teams well — not through policy alone, but through the everyday decisions that make adjustments normal instead of negotiable. If this is a conversation your leadership team needs to have, let's talk.